CAN WE BE JUST FRIENDS: STUDY SHOWS THAT MEN AND WOMEN CANNOT BE 'JUST FRIENDS'

courtesy: rebirthofman

"Can't we just be friends?" 

Recent studies on the interaction of men and women seem to say no, you can't.

Although many swear, and indeed we probably know some that do, that a non sentimental relationship between them exists or that they have experienced it in the past, the truth that belies these unions, although untold, points to a much more involved dynamic between the two.

The truth appears to be that the front kept by two people who assert the solidity of their friendsip, is undermined by complex biological and cerebral impulses.

What the friendship might be covering up are the unspoken possibilities, and the presence in one or the other of unrequited feelings.  So contrary to what you assert, your mother's advice that there are no friendships between man and woman might be right after all.

A study of 88 couples, 'friends-only' was made, in which the respective genders were separated and questioned on their 'true' feelings for the opposite sex friend.  

The result confirmed what mom long suspected.  

First of all, there were marked gender differences between the true feelings of men and women.  Needless to say, the men harbored unspoken feelings or attraction for their female friends.  What was more interesting was that the men perceived their female counterparts as sharing some of the attraction, even when there was not.  

Whereas the opposite held true with the female friends: most were not attracted to their partners, and the lack of attraction was the basis for the solidity of the friendship (and its choice).  And they too were oblivious to their counterparts' true feelings.  In fact the women queried they thought that the lack of attraction was mutual. 

In other words, the men overestimated the potential of the friendship, while female underestimated the potential of the friendship.

In addition men seemed to be more willingly to act on that potential.  And their attraction does not diminish if the 'friend' is attached or single.  Whereas female 'friends' were very much aware and took into consideration their counterparts' involvement or single status.  

What this study has proven, is not just that men are always 'looking for love', as it may, but that relationships can exist in which the two people involved have completely different experiences and ideas about the relationship.

So while the study points out the dynamics of these platonic friendships, it also reassert a long held belief that males are unable to turn off their desires and expectations, whereas the females sincerely believe in the friendship as essentially unromantic.

So the answer to the question can women and men be friends, should instead be can men be friends just like women can.

Source: Scientific American 2. 23.13